Goodbye, Rangiku
by dshirochan
Summary: Gin left her with nothing to remember him by, or so she thought. A year after his death, she finds that she still misses him and the way they were when they were young, when life was simple and when love bloomed from their friendship. Gin X Rangiku


**Disclaimer:** Bleach is not mine. Credit goes to who it belongs to.

_**Goodbye, Rangiku**_

_"Gin, I miss you. It's been a year since I last saw you and still, I haven't gotten used to you not being around anymore. I know that's strange because you were almost always out somewhere even back when we were still kids. The only difference is now I'm sure you aren't coming back. I miss you, Gin..."_

Rangiku stood in front of the tombstone in front of her with her head bowed down as tears rolled along her porcelain cheek. "Goodbye, Gin," she whispered, hoping that somehow he'd hear it. She felt a comforting pat on her shoulder, a soft familiar touch of a friend; her captain stood beside her. Toshiro gave her a small smile in an effort to console her. Even though he and Gin weren't on good terms back when Gin was alive, he believed that there were parts of the mysterious man that deserved to be respected. He also knew that his lieutenant and good friend, Rangiku, held Gin very closely to her heart. He knew how painful it was to lose someone important to you, how painful it was to have the one dearest to you dying in your embrace. For those reasons, he stood there, comforting the older woman. Patting the top of the stone, she shook her head and rubbed her tears off as she forced out a smile. "Bye," she said again.

The two headed back to Seireitei quietly. Rangiku was in deep thoughts. Usually, she'd distract herself with other thoughts, choosing to think of any other thing than to think of _him._ It was too painful for her and she couldn't handle it. Today, however, she decided it wasn't fair for her to just leave things the way they were. She had to know why he chose to work under Aizen's command. She had to know why he did what he did. Somehow, she felt like he deserved to be heard, like his actions had to be justified. She shook her head. What was she saying? The things he did were evil._ "He had hurt innocent people, played and twisted them and he relished in their torment,"_ she thought, "... _but I know Gin. He- he wasn't like that when we were younger. What in the world pushed him to change into the monster he seemed to be?"_

"Captain," she said softly. The younger shinigami with white hair looked up at her curiously. "Is it okay if we stop over somewhere before heading back to Seireitei?" He thought about it for a while. "It's fine. Where did you want to stop at?" She smiled at her friend. "There was this place by a river. Gin... he used to take me there back when we were still young. We stopped going there when were already shinigamis. I just thought it would be nice to visit the place," she said somberly.

It was a long walk to the river. It was fairly wide and along its banks, flowers of different colors bloomed. A cool breeze greeted the two as they took in the peaceful scenery around them. The young captain took a seat under the shade of a nearby tree as she casually took of her socks and sandals before dipping her feet into the clear water. Closing her eyes, she vividly remembered how the she and Gin played there when they were young.

_A young boy with short silver hair stood at the center of the river and a girl with strawberry blonde hair stood at the banks. "Come on, Rangiku. The water's amazing!" the boy said. The girl stared warily at the river in front of her. "Unless, you're afraid ," he teased, his eyes were narrowed into slits and a wide playful grin was on his youthful face. "Isn't the water too deep? Should you even be standing there, Gin? It might be dangerous," she said with a concerned look. He gave her a quick laugh. "Oh yeah. It's really deep, Rangiku. It's so deep, I think I might just drown here if you don't come after me," he answered sarcasically as he crouched in the water. "You might have to save me here," as he crouched some more and flailed his arms about. She stood firmly at the riverside, hands akimbo, lips slightly pouted and brows furrowed. He laughed again before suddenly slipping into the waters. "Gin!" she yelled out but there no response. The girl panicked when she saw his silver hair under the water. "Gin!" she yelled out again. Instantly taking courage, she jumped into the water and rushed to his direction when something tugged at her ankle. She was swept out of her balance and she fell into the waters. Underwater, she saw the young boy smiling playfully at her. Two heads popped out of the water a few moments later. Angry, she pushed the boy, making him fall into the waters again. She crossed her arms. "That was mean, Gin!" Regaining his balance, he stood up. "I was just playing with you," he replied._

_The boy turned and rushed to the other bank. He stopped at a tree and called out to the young girl. "Rangiku, look! I have something for you," he said. She followed him and reached the foot of the tree. He slowly turned to face her, hiding something inside his small clasped hands. "What is it, Gin?" she asked, looking up at the young boy. His eyes weren't narrowed anymore and bright sky blue eyes met another pair of light blue eyes. His smile was sincere, warm and comforting. It made her smile as well. "What is it?" she asked again. Slowly, he opened his hands to reveal an orange marigold with yellow outlines. "It's beautiful," she praised. "Just like you," he whispered almost inaudibly as he handed the fragile flower to her._

"Just like you..." she remembered him say that. She pretended she didn't hear so she wouldn't ruin the moment she shared with him. Back when they were young, she loved spending time with him because he was her friend, her only friend. Likewise, she was his friend, his only friend. As they grew, so did her feelings for him; she wouldn't admit it but she had hoped that the same could be said for him. Unfortunately though, they had grown apart. He slowly began to distance himself from her as he began to serve under Aizen. When they'd meet, they'd still greet each other but they didn't spend as much time together as they had when they were younger. She was satisfied with seeing him from afar and she was happy that her bestfriend was accomplishing much.

Something caught her eye. An array of orange and yellow blooming in the distance. She stood up and slowly approached it to get a better look. She saw that they were marigolds, orange outlined with yellow, similar to the one he had given her all those years back. She felt like something was pulling her towards that tree, like something was telling her to go there. She rushed to that spot eagerly as her captain eyed her curiously. "Rangiku?" he asked. The older woman turned to give him a quick look, as if to say "I know what I'm doing" even though she had no clue why she wanted to go to that spot. Maybe she just wanted to relive her past. She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she just had to go there.

Reaching the spot, she sank into the flowerbed at the foot of the tree. Rangiku felt as though the flowers wrapped her in a warm embrace, as though it was _his embrace. _"Gin..." she whispered. _"Rangiku..."_ she heard something whisper her name. She sprang up, looking for that someone. It couldn't have been Toshiro, he was at the other side of the river. "I'm going crazy," she said to herself. She was about to pick up a marigold when she saw something strange. A box was under one of the thick roots of the tree. Slowly pulling it out, she found that the box was a familiar one. It resembled a box Gin used to have when they were younger, a box where he hid things that had sentimental value to him.

There was a piece of folded paper inside and several items she gave to him when they were children. There were many random things that no one else would bother to keep for that long like trinkets they found when they were playing, different rocks and stones, old toys, persimmon seeds, other stuff. Tears started to roll off her cheeks again. She thought he'd left her with nothing to remember him by but he had hid these things in safekeeping, so she'd find it later on. Teary-eyed, she opened the folded paper and read its contents.

"Rangiku. I've missed you. Everyday, I miss you. Your smile, your laugh. I'm sorry we grew apart. I didn't mean to distance myself from you. All I wanted was to protect you, to give you back what was really yours, but nothing I do ever seems to make anything right. I'm sorry I hurt you and everyone else. I didn't mean to but I knew well what the consequences would be if I hadn't done what I did. You see, I had to earn _his_ trust. It was painful to distance myself from you just to get closer to someone who I desperately wanted to kill slowly and cruelly for what he had done to you, for stealing a part of your soul. Everyday, I'd be content with watching you from afar, seeing you smile, _seeing you happy._ Now I know what I chose to undertake all those years back when we were children was wrong, but there's no turning back. I'm sorry, Rangiku, I truly am. Everyday, I wish I could just be with you the way we were when we were young. I'm sorry I had to leave you. Please know that I love you, with all my heart, with all my soul. I'd give up anything and everything for you. Goodbye, Rangiku."

She read as the tears cascaded down her cheeks. She hugged the piece of paper close to her heart. Looking up, she called out his name again and again, hoping that it would somehow bring him back. At the bottom of the page, she read:

"_If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?_"

**AN:** I just re-watched the episodes of Gin's death and I just think that it's really sad he had to die that way. It's sad how things ended up between him and Rangiku. It's obvious they cared for each other. His death is just too hard for me to swallow even after all these months. So I wrote this because I am completely in love with Gin. I mean, sure, he's a bad guy but maybe sometimes bad guys who do what they do for a deeper purpose are better than good guys who do what they do just to say they do those things. Yeah, I'm blabbering now. Sorry. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. I know it isn't very good and I'm afraid you'd think the story's pretty dragging so I'm sorry for that. And oh, about the part where I put Hitsugaya instead of the other characters, I know there are many other characters who would fit the comforter part better, for example Izuru Kira but well, I just thought she was a little more open with her captain. i don't know maybe I just like Shiro-chan so much I put him here even though he didn't have to be here. So again, I'm sorry. Oh and nobody's haunting anybody. It's just Rangiku missing Gin so so much. Please please leave a review and tell me what you thought about this. Thank you so much for reading! :)


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